Stitch Tiki Room Fan Script

THE ENCHANTED TIKI ROOM Featuring Lilo & Stitch

Fanscript by J.E.Smith





(Pre-show. The wall behind the waterfall opens, revealing Micheal sitting on the Tiki perch)

Michael: Aloha! Good day to you people! My name is Micheal, and welcome to the Enchanted Tiki Room! In just a few minutes you’ll be entering a world of joyous songs and island splendor performed by my avian berthern! But until then, I be sharing a bit of trivia with you to pass the time. The Tiki Room first opened in Disneyland over in California in 1963, a dream by Walt Disney itself! He created a wonderful, magical building in Adventureland where my friends and I could talk and sing to you people! Then in 1971, they built this Tiki Room here in Florida, so my friends and me could fly south and perform here as well! And it paved the way for all of the classic attractions you enjoy here at the Magic Kingdom, such as Pirates of the Caribbean, the Haunted Mansion, the Country Bear Jamboree, and the Carousel of Progress.

Now, in Disneyland we continue to do the same show we always have been since we started in '63. But over here in Florida, we made a few changes to our show over the years. Back in 1998, this Tiki Room became "Under New Management" when two birds named Iago and Zazu, who I'm sure you're familiar with, became the new owners of the Tiki Room. Iago wanted us to make some changes to our program, which featured newer, updated music.

Recently however, Iago and Zazu lost ownership of the Tiki Room, and the show is once again under the control of my fellow friends Jose, Pierre, Fritz, and myself. So why I'm out here instead of in there, you're thinking? Well, today we have a guest who just flew in from Hawaii to perform with us; a pink passionate parrot named Lani. She's been aching to sing in the Tiki Room since she was just a small chick, so I decided to give her my perch for today so she could join the show! She's also taught us some new Hawaiian tunes that you'll be hearing along with some old favorites from our original show, and...

(The bushes to the left of Micheal rustle, next to a new wooden gazebo)

Michael: Oh, what was that? Sounds like someone's roming around back there!

(We hear the sound of the person tripping over and a thud is heard inside of the gazebo next to the bushes. A little girl’s voice grunts as she hits the ground.)

Michael: Oh! Whoever's back there, are you okay?


(An AA Lilo is seen rising up into the gazebo)

Lilo: Oh…uh…uh-oh….

Michael: Oh my, if it isn't a little hula girl! Excuse me little girl, but I believe you're not supposed to be back there!

Lilo: Whoa, you're one of the Tiki Birds aren't you? So you really can talk!

Michael: You'll find that in the Tiki Room anything's possible! Now, how did you get back there?

Lilo: Oh I'm sorry! My dog got lost and I was chasing after him! Guess I took a wrong turn somehow...

Micheal: What's your name?

Lilo: Lilo. Lilo Pelaki.

Michael: Well Lilo, I don't think they let dogs in the park. Well, except for seeing eye dogs to help blind people.

Lilo: Oh! Well, he’s my blind Uncle Jumba’s seeing eye dog! Yeah! He ran off and I think he may have headed through here! Have you seen him?

Michael: I’m sorry, but I haven’t heard anything about any dogs running around here today.

Lilo: Well, there’s a chance he may have gone into the Tiki Room! I need to go in and see if he’s there!

(Cast Member walks into the preshow area)

Micheal: I’m sorry Lilo, but we haven’t seen any dogs around the Tiki Room, inside or out! Now, I think that person over there is going to take you to Lost and Found so they can get you back with your family!

(Gong is heard)

Michael: Oh dear, there's the gong! Its almost showtime!

Cast Member: That's right, Michael! Ladies and gentlemen, that gong you just heard means that they are calling you inside! In a moment, the doors behind me will open and I will drop this rope, allowing you to enter the Tiki Room! And don’t worry Lilo, I’m sure everyone will keep an eye out for your dog!

(The first Cast Member walks to the far right of the platform and motions to Lilo)

Michael: I'm afraid you need to go with that person over there now, Lilo. I hope you get reunited with your family and your dog!

Lilo: Okay sir.

Micheal: And to the rest of you, I hope you enjoy yourselves, and give Jose my regards! So long!

(Waterfall gate closes)

LiloTo herself) I know you went in there, Stitch…please don’t do anything that’ll get you in trouble. I’ll have to try running off again and sneak into the Tiki Room myself just to make sure you don't though. Just wait Stitch; I’ll try to be there as soon as I can…

(Lilo walks off out of the gazebo and into the bushes to the right and the guests are admitted into the Tiki Room)

(Main show. The Cast Member either wakes up Jose by tapping his perch or having the audience shouting at him)

Jose:
(Yawns) Muchos gracias! My siestas just keep on getting shorter and shorter…(To audience) Ah, Buenos días everybody, and welcome to the Enchanted Tiki Room! Hey Fritz mi amigo, pay attention its show time!

Fritz:
Ach du liebe, you’re right! Pierre, my bird bekannte, let’s put on the show!

Pierre:
Mon ami, I am always ready, as you say, to put on ze show! And I hope our guest from Hawaii, ze lovely Lani, is as well!

Lani (Pink girl parrot with Hawaiian accent):
Tsa, Cha, Ka, Pierre! You know I’ve been waiting all day for this! Oh dear, would you look at that? The audience is just staring at us! We better things rolling, boys!

Pierre:
Mon Cherie, I know how anxious you are seeing that this is your first day, but we mustn’t rush things!

Fritz: Ya Wohl! We must first wake up the Glee Club!

Lani: Oh, right!

(The four birds make a shrill whistle as all the birds in the Tiki Room started chirping wildly)

Jose:
Ole! Ole! It’s show time!

All: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
Jose: All the birds sing words
Pierre: And ze flowers croon
All: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room

Jose: Welcome to our tropical hideaway
You lucky people you
If weren’t in the show starting right away
We’d be in the audience, too

All: All together!
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
Jose: All the birds sing words
Pierre: And ze flowers croon
All: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room

Jose: The bird of paradise is an elegant bird
It likes to be seen and it loves to be heard
Most little birdies will fly away
But the Tiki Room birds are here everyday

All: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
Jose: All the birds sing words
Pierre: And ze flowers croon
All: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room

Jose: Our magnificent production is yet to come
So strum the guitar and beat the drum
We’ve been a hit and we know you adore us
So come on and get ready, here’s another chorus!

Lani: But a little faster!

(The tempo picks up slightly to the speed of the Get the Fever version)

All: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
Fritz: Clap real loud
Like a thundering boom
All: In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
Lani: It’s exciting to be here in the Tiki Room!
Pierre: We now present to you
A musical rendezvous
All: In the magical, wonderful, tropical
Enchanted Tiki Roooooooooooooom!
Fritz: We’re glad you could join us in the Tiki Room!

Jose: Ah Ha! Applause! Applause! Si, that was crazy.

(Gentle music starts)

Fritz: Ja, Ja. Ja, Ja.

Pierre: Écoutez! Écoutez! Listen! Listen!

Lani: Nani! Such lovely music!

Fritz: Ja, it is Offenbach!

Pierre: Pardon Monsieur, but you stay offa my back and I'll stay offa your back!

Jose: Mi amigos, stop the clucking. Now, we present to you a classic piece sung in our native tongues! The bird whistling, that is.

(The Offenbach number begins in the middle, where the birds start squawking wildly. During the number, Stitch’s head pops out from a hole in the ceiling where the disco ball from UNE used to be. The four host birds are facing away from him so they don’t notice him)

Stitch: Ooooh!.…huh?

(Stitch listens to the music for a moment and shakes his head in disapproval)

Stitch: Blaaaaah!

(Stitch goes back up the hole. The birds glance over to where he was to check out the noise, but he is gone. They continue to whistle Offenbach, but suddenly the lights go out and the music abruptly stops. The startled birds squawk in surprise. We hear Stitch faintly laugh in the background)

Pierre: Scare bleu!

Lani: Aue!

Fritz: Ach du liebe! Blackout!

Jose: Calm down everybody! Senors and senoritas down there, please stay in your seats! Whoever’s at the control booth, see if you can get the lights back on!

(As the birds speak, we hear various sounds in the darkness. We hear Stitch chuckle, then the sound of him running around the Tiki Room, then the splattering of paint with Stitch humming to himself.)

Cast Member: I almost got it Jose! The lights will be back on in just a moment!

(We hear the sounds of the CM clicking switches on and off. We also hear Stitch finishing up his “work” and running back up to his hiding place. He gets there right as the lights turn back on so nobody sees him)

Jose: Ah Gracias! We’re so sorry for that senors and senoritas. It looks like we just blew a fuse!

Fritz: Ach! Look at that wall over there!

(The long, featureless wall in the back of the Tiki Room next to right of the exit doors now has writing on it in blue paint. They say "NO OFFENBACH! ALOHA E KOMO MAI!" The writing is rather sloppy)

Pierre: Mon dieu! Ze Tiki Room! She has been defaced!

Lani: Who would do such a thing?

Fritz: Just look at what it says! No Offenbach…looks like we have a wisen guy critic down there!

Pierre: Oui! There’s no appreciation for classical music these days!

Lani: Well, it also says “Aloha e komo mai”, which is Hawaiian for “Hello, welcome!”

Pierre: Ah, merci Lani. None of us know a word of Hawaiian, so we would have thought that it meant something dirty! But “No Offenbach. Hello, welcome”…that message doesn’t make any sense!

(The sound of thunder and lighting flashes in the windows)

Fritz: Ach!

Lani: What was that?

Jose: It is the Tiki Gods. They don’t like people going doing things to the Tiki Room like painting graffti all over it!

Fritz: Ja, they are getting riled up!

Jose: Si, and if they continue to get angry they’ll go completely loco! Burning mad!

Pierre: And if zat happens it’ll be too dangerous for people to come in here! It would be days until ze Gods calm down enough for us to perform again!

(Thunder continues to rumble)

Fritz: Hoo, hoo, hoo! Und they’re already angry enough as it is! I don’t think we can continue with all that booming thunder interrupting us!

Pierre: Whoever did zis better be proud of themselves!

Lani: Hold on there, guys. I just got an idea!

Jose: What is it, Lani?

Lani: Well, “Aloha E Komo Mai” is also the name of a song about hope and family. Perhaps the message is a song request! And you know what? I think I just might sing it right now!

Fritz: Nein! Why should we answer to someone who has defaced the Tiki Room?

Lani: Cause right now, we have to get the Tiki Gods calmed down, and my song is just the thing that should do the trick!

Jose: Really? How?

Lani: Well, I sang it the other day when you guys left after rehearsal. The Tiki Gods became really moved by it, and started singing it with me! They can't get enough of it!

Jose: Well, it’s worth a try! Take it, Lani!

Lani: Okay! Here goes!
(Singing): I lai la
Ua i la
No mala hini ohana
Welcome cousins, come on by
Aloha e komo mai


Tiki Gods: I lai la
Ua i la
No mala hini ohana
Welcome cousins, come on by
Aloha e komo mai

Lani: See?

Fritz: Well I’ll be a vulture’s uncle!

Jose: Keep going!

Lani: Oh when you're down, you're feeling low
Got nobody by your side
It can be lonely and you want to only
Find a place, no need to hide
Just lay back you'll fit right in
You can make it all come true
'Cause there's always hope inside
And hope will see you through

(With Tiki Gods):Aloha...
You'll find the place that you belong
(With Tiki Gods): Ohana...
A family to call your own
(With Tiki Gods): Where you feel at home


(The Tiki Drummers play a short solo)

Jose: Everybody sing!

Birds & Tiki Gods: I lai la
Ua i la
No mala hini ohana
Welcome cousins, come on by
Aloha e komo mai
Aloha e komo mai


(The Tiki Gods give an approved sigh and it starts to rain outside the windows)

Pierre: Viola! It worked!

Fritz: Ja! That rain is the sign that the Tiki Gods are calming down!

Jose: Let’s give little Lani a great big hand! Gracias, Lani, Gracias!

Pierre: Oui, oui! Applaud! Applaud!

Fritz: Ja! You down there, with both hands!

Lani: Oh you’re all so welcome, but it was nothing really.

Fritz: Nothing? Thanks to you we can continue the show without interruptions…I hope.

Pierre: Oui! Jose, we better get things back on track, eh nespa?

Jose: I hear you, mi amigo. Now senors and senoritas, please place your eyes to the center. Of the room that is.

(The Birdmobile descends from the ceiling)

Fritz: We present the wunderba Birdmobile!

Pierre: And on it, are the lovely ladies of the ensemble. Zere’s Collette. Oh bonjour, Collette. (Collette giggles as Pierre continues) Suzette, Mimi, Gigi, Fifi, and Josephine.

Jose: I wonder what happened to Rosita?

Lani and Lady Birds (In the background): Aloha e aloha e
'Ano 'ai ke aloha e
Aloha ae aloha e
A nu ay ki aloha e

Jose: Now senors and senoritas, we present a song inspired by Lani telling us about how a bird’s life in Hawaii is like.

Fritz: Ja, ja! Und how wunderba it is to be able to fly in those tropical sunset skies all the time…

Pierre: Oui, with a bird’s eye view of nothing but ze most beautiful of sights…Ze ocean, ze beaches, and ze mountains. Not to mention all ze birds of paradise as far as ze eye can see…I’d gaze at those lovely things all day.

Collette: (Gasp) Pierre!

Pierre: Pardon Collette, but I was referring to ze plant variety. You know, like we have in the corner over there.

Collette: Oh.

Jose: (Laughs) There’s no place I’d rather be
Lady Birds: Then soaring cross the island seas
Fritz: Gazing at the ocean blue
Lady Birds: And the island mountains too
Pierre: I'd soar towards the sunset
Beyond the horizon

Lani and Lady Birds: A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu
All: Its time to fly through Hawaiian sunset skies

Lani: A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
Lady Birds: La we mai iko papa he na lu
Lani: Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha
Lady Birds: O ka moana hanupanupa
Lani: Lalala i kala hanahana
Lady Birds: Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one
Lani: Helehele mai kakou e
Lady Birds: Flyin’ through those sunset skies

Jose: Oh there’s no place I’d rather be
Lady Birds: Perched up high in a palm tree
Fritz: From that perch I would stay
Lady Birds: Taking in the view all day
Pierre: I'd gaze at the sunset
Beyond the horizon

Lani and Lady Birds: Lalala i kala hanahana
Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one
All: Its time to fly through Hawaiian sunset skies

Jose: And now we want you people down there, to sing along with us birds up here. All together now.

Lani: A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
Lady Birds: A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi
Lani: Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha
Lady Birds: Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha
Lani: Lalala i kala hanahana
Lady Birds: Lalala i kala hanahana
Lani: Helehele mai kakou e
Lady Birds: Helehele mai kakou e
All: Flyin’ through those sunset skies
There’s no place I’d rather be
Then soaring cross the island seas
Gazing at the ocean blue
And the island mountains too
I'd soar towards the sunset
Beyond the horizon

Lani and Lady Birds: Lalala i kala hanahana
Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one
Lani: Helehele mai kakou e
All: Hawaiian sunset skies

Jose: Applause! Applause! Let’s hear it for the girls!

Lady Birds: Merci, everybody! Au revoir!

(The Bird mobile ascends back into the ceiling)

Collette: Ta-ta Pierre! (Giggles)

Pierre: Ta-ta to you too Collette, heh heh my little dove! (Blows kiss)

Lani: And now ladies and gentlemen, we have something really big for you!

Fritz: Ja, the birds stand still, und the Tiki Room flies away!

Pierre: Mon ami, quit talking while I’m interrupting! Monsieurs and Madames, now we present direct from the islands, a musical luau!

(The orchid beds descend from the ceiling and the birds of paradise in the corners of the room come to life)

Orchids: Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la.
(Birds of Paradise join in): Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la.
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la.
Pututui lu a ite toe la.
Hanu lipo ita paalai.
Orchids: Au we

(Stitch’s arm pops out a tiki pillar sticking out of the ceiling in the corner of the room behind Lani, holding a bike horn, which he honks)

Lani: Ohhhhhh!

Orchids: Ta huala.

(Stitch’s arm pops out a tiki pillar behind Jose, sounding a twisted up old car horn that makes an “oowga!” sound)

Pierre: Mon dieu!

Orchids: Au we

(Stitch’s arm pops out of the pillar behind Pierre, sounding an noise maker)

Fritz: Ach du libe!

Jose: Who? What? Where? How? When? Ack, oh carumba!

Lani: Oh!!!

Orchids: Ta huala

(Stitch’s arm pops out of the pillar behind Fritz sounding a duck call that’s shaped like Donald’s head. The orchids continue singing in the background during the below dialogue)

Fritz: What is going on here!?

Pierre: It seems we have a sneaky saboteur in our mist!

Lani: Do you think he’s the one who painted the wall earlier?

Jose: Seems likely, mi amigos.

Pierre: Well, we need to put a stop to him! Ze Tiki Gods will get angry again at this rate!

Fritz: Ja, und we can’t keep stopping the show to sing Lani’s song over and over. I say we surprise the little pest with some noise of our own!

Pierre: Oui! Let’s give zat saboteur a taste of his own medicine!

Jose: Si! Okay, senors and senoritas in the audience, we need you to lend us a hand up here!

Lani: Yeah! Everybody, pay attention to the singing flowerbeds!

Pierre: When you see that saboteur, yell as loud as you can to scare him!

Lani: Here comes the chorus. Get ready everybody!

Orchids: Au we

(Stitch’s arm pops out of the pillar behind Fritz)

Fritz: Stop!

Orchids: Ta huala.

(Stitch’s arm pops of the pillar behind Pierre)

Pierre: Alt!

(Stitch’s arm pops of the pillar behind Jose)

Orchids: Au we

Jose: (Wally Boag squawk)

Orchids: Ta huala….

(The flowerbeds ascends back into the ceiling)

Jose: Ah ha! Gracias to all you people, gracias!

Lani: Whoa…my ears are still ringing from all that noise!

Fritz: Wundaba! We sure showed him that time!

Pierre: Oui! Oui! That should have scared that little pest away!

(A loud foghorn blares through the entire Tiki Room. The birds squawk in a big commotion. Lighting flashes in the window and thunder crashes)

Jose: Or perhaps not…

Pierre: Sapristi! My feathers almost fell off!

Lani: You okay, Fritz?

Fritz: Nein! I thought I was gonna lay an egg back there!

(Sound of thunder rolling)

Lani: Aue! The Tiki Gods are getting angry again!

Jose: (Sigh) We’re so sorry senors and senoritas, but it looks like we have no choice but to stop for a moment and perform Lani’s song a second time…

Fritz: Ach! Jose! The Tiki Gods are going to perform next!

Jose: Ay carumba, you’re right! Lani quick, you better start singing before…

(The Tiki Drummers begin playing a short solo)

Jose: …oh no! We’re too late!

Lani: What’s the problem?

Pierre: Once the Tiki Gods start playing, we cannot interrupt! They get really mad if they are disrupted while they perform their chant!

Lani: So if our little friend decides to cut in…

Pierre: We are gone gooses.

Lani: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

Tiki Gods: Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la
Pututui lu a ite toe la
Hanu lipo ita paalai

Oh ah hahey ah ah

(Without warning, Stitch's butt pops out from the hole where Zazu comes from in UNE. It has a Tiki God face painted on it, and Stitch shakes it in time with the music)

(With Stitch)h ha hahey ah hah

Jose: Wha…!?

Pierre: Behind you!

Tiki Gods: Oh ah hahey ah hah
(With Stitch): Oh ah hahey ah hah

(Stitch goes back up the hole before Jose can swing around to see him. Thunder is heard and lightning flashes from the windows)

Lani: Oh no!

Pierre: It’s ze saboteur!

Jose: That does it! Next time he shows I'm gonna give him a pecking!

Pierre: Get him, Jose!

(All four birds turn to face the hole)

Tiki Gods: Oh ah hahey ah hah
(Stitch's butt pops out the hole where Iago is stored in, behind the birds)
(With Stitch): Oh ah hahey ah hah

(A very loud boom of thunder is heard and lightning flashes from the windows. The Tiki Room goes into the Hot Hot Hot lighting from UNE)

Jose, Pierre, and Fritz: OH, NO!

Lani: Why is it getting hot all of a sudden?

Fritz: Our stranger made the Tiki Gods really angry with all his rumpus shaking!

Jose: Si! They’ve gone burning loco!

Pierre: Oui! Oui! We are doomed!
(Singing): Doom is in the air
Fritz: The show’s over, my friend Pierre
All: It’s getting hot, hot, hot
Pierre: Adieu mon ami, for the end is plain to see!
All: It’s so hot hot hot!

(Thunder rolls and the Tiki Room goes dark.)

Tiki Gods: Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!
Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!
Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!
Hele mai Maika`i`ole Ahi!

Lani: Aue! Aue! They’re chanting “Come, bad fire!” Jose, we need to tell the audience to get out of here, now!

Stitch (O.s., in a deep booming voice): NOBODY GOING ANYWHERE!!!!! NO FIRE!!!!

(The Tiki Gods stop their chant)


Jose: W-who said that?

Fritz: Look! Something’s coming out of the fountain in the center of the room!

(Stitch rises up out of the fountain in the center of the Tiki Room. The Tiki Room remains dark, with only a dim red light on Stitch. He is wearing a Hawaiian shirt and playing a ukulele. Thunder rolls as Stitch begins to play)

Stitch (Deep voice): AUDIENCE
STAY IN CHAIR!
TIKI BIRDS
DON'T GO NO WHERE!
‘CAUSE NOW IT’S TIME
THAT I SING TOO!
YOU’LL ALL ENJOY
TIKI-TIKI-DOO!
‘CAUSE I BIG TIKI GOD
THE BIG KAHUNA!


Jose, Pierre, Fritz and Lani: The Big Kahuna?

Lani: That’s not a true Tiki God! You’re an imposter!

Pierre: You’re the saboteur aren’t you? Reveal yourself!

Stitch: SINCE YOU ASKED…

(The lights return to normal and Stitch drops the deep voice)

Stitch: I really Stitch!

Jose, Pierre, Fritz, and Lani: Stitch!?

Jose: Why did you do all of this?

Stitch: Stitch from Kauaʻi in Hawaii, and came to Disney with family! Heard about singing Hawaiian bird in Tiki Room! So Stitch snuck into Tiki Room! Hear her sing about ohana before show started!

Lani: That’s right, I was singing it to myself before the audience came in, while you guys were asleep!

Stitch: Stitch loved hearing ohana song! Wanted to hear you sing it louder. But when show started Stitch didn’t want to hear boring classic music, so Stitch painted windows so birds could sing about ohana right away, and…

(A flash of lightning comes from the windows)

Stitch: Eh?

Tiki Gods: Uh-oha! Uh-oha! Uh-oha oha oha!

Joseh no! Not this again!

Tiki Gods: Uh-oha! Uh-oha! Uh-oha oha oha! Uh-oha!

(The four Uh-oha masks in the corners of the Tiki Room come to life, and stare at Stitch in the center of the room with burning red eyes)

Uh-oha: I am Uh-oha, the guardian spirit of the Tiki Room! So, you are the one responisble for vioalting the walls and mocking the Tiki Gods with your obscene behind shaking! I will not allow such acts!

Stitch: Wait! Stitch not mean to cause harm. Stitch started to love Tiki Birds, and only did things because I wanted to have fun with them! Just wanted to be part of Tiki Room! Didn’t know that actual Tiki Gods would get mad!

Uh-oha: Well my little blue friend, perhaps you need to learn not to tamper with things you know nothing about! When you mess with Polynesia, the Tiki Gods will squezze ya!

Stitch: Uh-oh, Stitch not getting squezzed! Outta here!
(Lights flash around Stitch and he gets frozen in place)
Stitch: Wha? Can’t move!

Uh-oha: You can’t run away now, you’re stuck. I’ve cursed you for pushing your luck! So blue boy, you said you wanted to be part of the Tiki Room? The punishment should fit the crime. So I’m going to turn you into a wooden Tiki statue. Then you’ll literaly be part of the Tiki Room…for the next hundered years!(Laughs. Suddenly a commotion is heard outside the Tiki Room)

Lilo(o.s.): No, wait! Don’t do that!

Cast Member(o.s.): Hey little girl! You’re not supposed to be up there! Come down here right now! Hey!

Lilo(o.s.): Sorry, but my friend’s in trouble! I need to help him!(Sounds of Lilo knocking over things and her panting are heard. She then shows up above the Exit door where the injured Iago AA is in UNE, with the ceiling raised to allow room for the Lilo AA. She is in her hula getup)


Lilo: (Pant, pant) Hold on! Stop!

Stitch: Lilo? How’d you get up there?

Lilo: (Panting) I followed your footprints…you do not know how hard it was to sneak up here to find you!

Uh-oha: What is the meaning of this?

Lilo: I came here because I knew Stitch might get into trouble, and he'd need my help! I know what he did was wrong, but just because he crashed the show doesn’t mean you can turn him into a statue! Please, don’t do it!

Uh-oha: No! I cannot ignore his misdeeds! But perhaps I’ll lower his sentence. Fifty years then!

Lilo: No! I don’t want to be sepearted from Stitch for any amount of time! If you’re going to curse him, then you’ll just have to curse me too!

Stitch: Lilo…no!

Uh-oha: You would allow yourself to be punished? You care for this blue creature that much?

Lilo: Yeah, ‘cause Stitch is part of my ohana!

Uh-oha: This creature…is in your ohana?

Fritz: What’s an ohana?

Lani: That means family.

Lilo: That’s right, and family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten! So I’d never leave Stitch behind, even it means being turned into a statue for fifty years!

Uh-oha: Hmmmm…give me a moment to think about this!

Lani(whispering): Guys, that little girl seems to care for Stitch very much! We gotta do something about this!

Pierre(whispering): Oui. This Stitch may have turned our show upside down, but we can’t just let that girl sacrifice herself because of it!

Lani(whispering): Uh-oha’s probably so angry she doesn’t realize how harsh she’s being. We need to calm her down with my song!

Fritz(whispering): Ja, but how do we stop her long enough to sing it?

Jose(whispering): Mi amigos, an idea just hatched in my head! We just…(hushed muttering among the four host birds)

Uh-oha: I have made my decision! You two shall spend the next fifty years decorating the Tiki Room as statues!


(Lights flash on Lilo, and she becomes frozen as well)

Lilo: (Gasp) Oh, no!

Stitch: LILO!

Lilo: STITCH!!!!

Jose, Fritz, Pierre, and Lani: WAIT!!!!

Uh-oha: You four dare to interrupt?

Jose: Forgive us, senorita. But if these two are going to be statues for fifty years, shouldn’t they get to hear one last song first?

Lani: Yes, I was about to sing the rest of  “Aloha E Komo Mai”!

Fritz: Ja! Und we’d like to have Stitch play with us on that ukelee of his!

Lani: And Lilo, judging from your attire, I asuume you love to hula dance?

Lilo: Well, I’m still taking classes, but yeah.

Lani: Oh please Uh-oha, let them play and dance with us!

Pierre: Oui! Oui! That little girl’s last moment should at least be a happy one!

Uh-oha: Well, I do enjoy hearing your song, Lani…I suppose I will allow it. But if you try to run away I will curse you instantly!

(A light flashes on Lilo & Stitch)

Lilo: Hey, I can move again!

Stitch: So can Stitch!

Uh-oha: Now play, blue one!

Stitch: Lilo ready?

Lilo: Ready, Stitch!

Stitch: Okay! Tooki ba waba!

(Stitch plays a short solo and Lilo begins to dance. Uh-oha closes her eyes as she listens to the song)

Tiki Birds & Lilo: I lai la
Ua i la
No mala hini ohana
Welcome families, come on by
Aloha e komo mai

Stitch: Iki bobo!

Lani: Now you can see, tooki ba waba
Nothing but these clear blue skies
Pierre: Love it has found you, and when it surrounds you
It's just like paradise
Fritz: Now the door has swung wide open
Now your heart has taken wing
Jose: Feel that magic in the air
Oh hear your spirit sing

Tiki Birds & Lilo: Aloha...
Stitch: Aloha!
Jose: You'll find the place that you belong
Tiki Birds & Lilo: Ohana...
Stitch: Ohana!
Pierre: A family to call your own
Tiki Birds & Lilo: Where you feel at home!


(Uh-oha opens her eyes, which are now blue)

Uh-oha: Ah, such a soothing song…you play so wonderfully blue one. And you child, are a good dancer for someone so young!

Lilo: You really think so? Thank you!

Stitch: Taka noua!

Lani: You still think these two really deserve to be cursed for fifty years, Uh-oha?

Uh-oha: Hmmmm…now that I have calmed down, I now see that Stitch really did not mean to deliberately anger the Tiki Gods. I suppose I’ll let this slide, if you two agree to come back and clean up the walls after the park closes. Deal?

Stitch: Deal! And Stitch sorry!

Uh-oha: Then you are free to go.

(The following cheers happen all at once)
Lilo: Whoo, yeah!

Stitch: All right!

Lani: Kupaianaha!!

Pierre: Fantisique!

Fritz: Wundaba! Wundaba!

Jose: Ariba! Ah ha ha!


Uh-oha: Just be more careful next time, blue one. I’ll take my leave now. A hui hou, everyone!

Lani: Good-bye to you too, Uh-oha!

(The eyes on the Uh-oha masks shut and stay still)

Fritz: Hoo-hoo, now THAT was a close one!

Lani: That was really brave of you to stand up to Uh-oha like that, Lilo!

Lilo: It was nothing really. I was just helping my ohana, even though he causes trouble sometimes. I just don’t know what I’d do if I had never met him!

Stitch: Oh, Lilo…

Pierre: I hate to break up the sentiments, but ze show is running overtime! We need to, how you say, wrap things up!

Jose: Si! Senor Stitch, would you like to lead us off?

Stitch: Okay, Jose! Audience, repeat after Stitch!

Lilo: Get ready everybody!

Stitch: Here we go!
(The Tiki Room goes into the rave lighting that is used during the Tiki Rap in UNE and the flowerbeds descend from the ceiling)
Stitch: Iki tooki nee ha!
Jose, Lani, Lilo, and Orchids: Iki tooki nee ha!
Stitch: Aka tiki baba!
Pierre, Fritz, Tiki Gods, and Birds of Paradise: Aka tiki baba!
Stitch: Gaba ika tasooba?
Jose, Lani, Lilo, and Orchids: Gaba ika tasooba!
Stitch: Oocha!Chika!Miki miki coconut!
Pierre, Fritz, Tiki Gods, and BoP: Oocha!
Jose, Lani, Lilo, and Orchids:Chika!
All: Miki miki coconut!
(The Tiki Room goes into the lighting used during the Conga finale of UNE)

All (except Stitch):  Come along
Clap along
Join us all ohanas
We hope you all enjoyed the show
But soon we must say adieu

Stitch: Maka maka!

All (with Stitch):I lai la,
Ua i la,
No mala hini ohana
Stitch: Tasooba, tasooba!
All (except Stitch): Come back again, we’ll say to you
Aloha e komo mai
[Stitch:] Icki bobo!
All: Aloha e komo mai
[Stitch:] Tooki ba waba!
All: Aloha e komo mai!
       Aloha, aloha
All (Except for Tiki Gods): E komo maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!
Tiki Gods (In background during high note): I lai la,
Ua I la
All: No mala hini OHAN-A!
(Small jets of smoke shoot up out of the corners of the fountain around Stitch as they hit the last note. The Tiki Room goes dark and thunder and lighting effects are used. It rains very hard outside the windows)

Tiki Gods: Uhhhh…malaho!

Lilo: Whoa, look at it pour out there!

Stitch: It real gullywasher!

Fritz: Oh wundaba! That heavy rain means that the Tiki Gods are really pleased!

Pierre: Oui! Zat was manifique!

Jose: Si, no one laid an egg but me.

Lani: Lilo! Stitch! You two were great! The extra energy you added to the song really impressed the Tiki Gods! They should stay calm and relaxed for a long time after this! Thank you both!

Lilo: We should be thanking you Tiki Birds! If it weren’t for you, Stitch and I would be statues right now! So I guess we all played a part in this!

Stitch: Yeah, this was all team effort!

Jose: I’m just glad no one got hurt, unlike the last time Uh-oha showed up!

Pierre: Oui, but zat loud-mouthed parrot sure got what he deserved!

Lani: Loud-mouthed parrot? Last time?

Fritz: Forgive us Lani, but that’s an incident we’d rather not talk about…

Pierre: Pardon moi for interrupting again, but Stitch needs to move! The girls will be coming down for our closing song!

Lilo: You can come up here with me Stitch!

Stitch: No problem! Be there in a minute!
(Stitch descends into the fountain, and the Bird Mobile begins to lower)

Jose: We’re sorry your first show didn’t go as planned, Lani.

Lani: Well that may be Jose, but I have to say that this was a unique experience!

Pierre: Oui! It just goes to show that you don’t know what amazing or unusual things you’ll see here in ze…
All: Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
All the birds sing words and the flowers croon
In the magical, wonderful, tropical
Enchanted Tiki Rooooooooooooooom!

(Stitch pops up near Lilo)

Stitch: Heh! Heh! Heh! Bye-bye from everybody in the Tiki Room!

Jose: Ole! Ole! Let’s give everybody one last big round of applause! The birds! Lilo! Stitch! The flowers! The Tiki Gods! Everyone! Applause! Give them all a great big hand! Ole!

Lani: And now everyone, before you all go…

Pierre: We present our traditional Tiki Room end of show magic trick!

Lilo: Oh, a magic trick?

Fritz: Ja! Everybody get up, face the door, und the trick is…

Jose, Pierre, Fritz, and Lani: We’re gonna make you all…DISAPPEAR!

Lilo: Tsk! Oh!

Stitch: That old gag!

Fritz: Hoo-hoo, I never get tired of doing that!

Cast Member: Ladies and gentleman, please at this time gather your personal belongings and exit through the doors underneath Lilo and Stitch. We hope you enjoy the rest of your stay here at the Magic Kingdom!

Tiki Birds: Goodbye, farewell, aloha
                    Get on your feet!
Stitch: Come on now!
Tiki Birds: Its out the door you go-a
                    Get on your feet!
Lilo: So long everybody!
Stitch: See ya!
Tiki Birds: Get on your feet
                    Get on your feet
                     That’s the show!

Lilo: Bye-bye!

Stitch: Sayonara!

Jose: Adios!

Pierre: Au revoir!

Lani: Aloha Oe!

Fritz: Oy vey!

Lady Birds: Heigh ho, heigh ho
                      It’s out the door you go
                      We hope you all enjoyed the show
                       Heigh ho, heigh ho
                        Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho
                        Just lift your feet and go
                        We’ll sing this song you march along
                         Heigh ho, heigh ho


Lady Birds (speaking): Well, now we must bid adieu! Ta-ta, everyone!

(Bird Mobile ascends into ceiling)

Lilo: Ta-ta, girls!

Colette: I have to say, Monsieur Stitch, you are such a cute little creature! (Blows kiss)

Stitch: Oh! Uh huh huh huh…

Pierre: Hey!

Lani: Oh don’t think anything of it, Pierre. She’s probably just having fun with him is all.

Pierre: (*Grumbles*)

Stitch: Hey, you in back! Hurry along!

Lilo: Yeah! They have another group outside waiting to get in!

Stitch: Make like bird! Migrate! Migrate!

Stitch: Well Lilo, what you want to do now?

Lilo: I was thinking about going to the Country Bear Jamboree next! I hear one of the bears is a huge Elvis fan!

Stitch: Oooh! Stitch want to see for himself! Gonna have real fun with bears!

(Stitch runs off)

Lilo: What…!? Stitch, wait! Didn’t you just learn anything?

(Stitch’s head sticks in)

Stitch: Stitch just kidding! Race Lilo to bear show! But Stitch gets head start!

(Runs off)

Lilo: Hey, no fair! (Laughs) Come back here! Aloha, Tiki Birds!

Jose, Pierre, Fritz, and Lani: Aloha, Lilo!

Jose: You’re welcome here anytime!

Lani: Take care!

(Lilo exits)

Lani: (Laughs) Oh, that Stitch is such a rascal! But, he and Lilo really do seem to have a strong bond with each other.

Pierre: Oui! Stitch may be a pest, but at least he’s a pest that has a good friend to steer him right!

Fritz: He’s lucky to have such a great companion!

Jose: (Yawn) Well, I don’t know about you mi amigos, but I’m tired after all this excitement. I think I’ll take a quick siesta before the next crowd comes in…

Fritz: Ja, good idea. Oh look, there’s someone still down there!

Jose: Congratulations! You stayed for our entire exit spiel!

Jose, Pierre, Fritz, and Lani: You can go now!